Did I just see another Kasal Kasali Kasalo?  Hahaha.  A movie turned real-life story.

How long have they been married? Around 2 years?  And how long have they been together before getting married?  Another 2 years?  Does she not know her husband well enough to give him her trust in matters like this?  Does she not love him great enough to consider working things out for the sake of the family instead of giving up "habang maaga pa".  Considering she’s from a very religious family, and I would assume that she is very religious also, shouldn’t it be her instinct to fight for her family rather than be affected by what the third party is trying to do.  She and her husband are both very popular, very rich, high profile personalities so she should have conditioned herself that somehow, somewhere along the way, different type of persons would try to use them for personal gains.  It’s happening right now, and if their love for each other is strong enough, this should have been a non-issue for them.

Yes she’s a very strong person and she is very much capable of raising her children all by herself, but doing that just because she is not willing enough to stick it out and work things out with her husband is very selfish.  Yes, women should be loved and respected by their husbands.  But don’t husbands deserve to be loved and respected to? 

Husbands, especially those who love their wives, are generally very submissive to wives and would rather shut up than hear their wives argue with them to the point of nagging.  But that doesn’t mean that the wives are always right.  Husbands will never say that their wives are getting fat simply because they do not want to hurt their wives’ feelings.  Loving husbands are usually complacent, non-complaining, agreeable, but that doesn’t mean that they totally agree to everything that their wives say.

Wives, beware when pushing your husbands submissiveness because when they reach their limit, you might not like it when they say enough is enough.  When your husbands do something you do not like, you should be strong enough to ask yourselves "what did I do wrong?", and of course you should be honest and objective enough to answer that. Otherwise, you will end up like the controversial couple whose marriage is about to be extinguised like a cigarette butt.

A very popular showbiz talkshow host, who made headlines last year with her supposedly intentions of running for public office, said [to that effect] that there is nothing wrong with showbiz personalities and non-political celebrities running for public office, especially if they have the sincerest intention to serve the people.

Well, nobody can really question one’s sincerity because it is very subjective.  Everybody has a different perception of what sincerity is.  However, if sincerity would be the only criterion to gauge whether a person is qualified to perform a specific job or not, then the un-employment rate in the Philippines would be much much lower than 11%. 

Why do you think employers put so much effort in enumerating the qualifications that they need from a prospective employer?  It’s because they believe that it takes a very specific person to perform any job.  The profile of a prospective employee should fit the requirements of a job opening.  This profile is, more often than not, a combination of (ranked according to level of importance) technical skills, soft skills, personality, and sometimes even personal preferences.  The best candidate is almost always the one who has all, if not almost all, the enumerated qualification criteria.

It is therefore very frustrating to know that in the constitution, the only qualifications for a prospective candidate for an elective position are nationality, residence and age, which practically lowers the standards in filing for candidacy for a government elective position.  The constitution should be amended to include minimum skills requirements for each of the elective government position.  At least that would ensure the voting public that they have a choice, and good ones at that.

A very good explanation was made by Sen. Santiago in this website.

   http://liberalsociety.wordpress.com/2007/02/05/take-courses-in-lawmaking/

Unfortunately for us, though, even the "legitimate" statesmen are being lured into the bright lights of showbiz.  Although ideally media popularity should not translate into votes, most of the candidates, are now believing otherwise.  Slowly, the "legitimate" statesmen are mutating into a new specie of showbiz personalities.  I hope this transformation can still be stopped and reversed.  Otherwise, the Philippine Politics will be doomed by the time our children gets their right to suffrage. 

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape but
A woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape.

A strong woman isn’t afraid of anything but
A woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear.

 
A strong woman won’t let anyone get the best of her but
A woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone.

A strong woman makes mistakes and avoids the same in the future but
A woman of strength realizes life’s mistakes can also be God’s blessings and capitalizes on them.

A strong woman walks sure footedly but
A woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls.

A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face but
A woman of strength wears grace.

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey but
A woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.

Note:  I took the liberty of adapting poem from my friend’s bulletin because of the gracefully strong message it is trying to convey.  My apologies to Rocel, though, if I reformatted it a bit, but other than that, nothing was changed.

Translated, it means the cockroach dance (i think).  Anyways, the FX I was riding this morning was tuned in to that radio station, which you "don’t need to memorize" and the 2 DJs were talking about cockroaches and how "yuckie" they are.  I can’t help but remember my "La Cucaracha" incident in the elevator in ABS-CBN compound last year. 

I was alone in the elevator going down after dropped off my daughter to her theater workshop when I noticed a cockroach about a foot away from my foot.  Not wanting to have anything to do with it, it having anything to do with me, I slowly stepped away from that seemingly sleeping cockroach.  Well apparently, it was not sleeping because it moved closer to me the moment I moved, so my instinct was, of course, to again stepped away.  I guess it liked having me around and wanted to get jiggy with me or something because everytime i stepped away it keeps moving closer.  We’re in the elevator so there isn’t really much room to move so I ended up literally running in circles trying to get away from the cockroach as it keeps on moving towards me (good thing it did not fly towards me or else I would have screamed my head off).  When the elevator opened up, I was laughing so hard because I can picture how silly I looked like running around inside the elevator.  Good thing there was only one person around to see me, but it was Pinky Marquez, my daughter’s workshop instructor, so I kinda want to leave at once and hide myself when I pick up my daughter lest she would think that my daughter’s mother is insane.

Chapter 1:  Julie’s Letter

Dear Ate Charo,

This story is about an unfinished chapter in my life that, up until now, still has no ending story. The angst of that “what if” question still haunts me and I never realized how much it has affected my life until a friend of mine unconsciously re-opened that chapter. I don’t know if this letter will give it an ending but just writing this gave me a certain sense of relief, although not enough to give a feeling of comfort and contentment.

Chapter 2:  The Surprise Meeting

“Maribel, Annette, and I were having coffee in a popular coffee shop while waiting for Annette’s friend, whom she was supposed to meet around 9PM. While chatting and browsing some pictures that Annette brought, I saw my college friend, who I have never seen for quite a long time, walking towards our table. Apparently, the person we were waiting for was her, Roxie. Just a few minutes of surprised and excited discussion about this fine co-incidence, and next thing we knew, Roxie was reminiscing my past ‘love life’.

Chapter 3:  Remembering Elmer

“Elmer and I became friends when we were in our 3^rd year in college. I really don’t know how it happened, but from being plain classmates we suddenly found ourselves spending time with each other even if there is no more school work to talk about. We talk about each other’s personal life so candidly that before long, we knew each other like we have been friends for life. We were so close that I even became friends with his brother and was spending a lot of time at their house even if we do not have ‘overnight sessions’. We were so close that everybody around us, our classmates, instructors, even our parents and close relatives, think that we were romantically involved with each other already. But between us, we know that we were just friends, close friends, and nothing more. However, with everything that has happened between us, I just can’t help thinking about the probability that there might be more to us than just friends. I’m a very loving (thoughtful and caring according to Elmer) person and loving him isn’t really hard considering where we are already.

Chapter 4:  The Signs

“I kept dismissing the thought that he might take a different look at our relationship, but there are a lot of signs that my girl friends see, which I never really thought of at first, but gave me ideas when presented to me in a ‘malicious’ way.

1. He spends more time with me than with his ‘barkada’

2. We talk about very personal things about each other

3. He confided to me that our relationship is ‘deeper’ compared to his relationship with his girlfriend (yes he had a girlfriend but it was a long distance relationship) and that our time together was more substantial compared to theirs

4. He was willing to stick it out with me despite the irritating jokes made by our classmates regarding our relationship

“Even our common friends, Roxie and Jun, kept telling me that there must be something more between us but neither Elmer nor I were brave enough to open up that issue to each other.

Chapter 5:  Letters and Jun

“When we graduated, Elmer immediately went to US to live with his parents, and at long last be with his girlfriend who left for the US a few months after she became his girlfriend  We kept in touch through letters twice a month at the very least. Those letters kept him happy and sane despite his monotonous quiet unemployed life which almost drove him crazy. Later on, he got busy with some extra curricular activities, but the letters kept coming. I was already working then and me and Jun are officemates. I showed him Elmer’s letters and he was quick to note some lines which he believes are signs that Elmer is trying to fish for info regarding my feelings about him. The following letters showed more signs, as seen by Jun, that slowly, I started to think that maybe he really was trying to push our friendship to a deeper form of relationship especially after Elmer said that he had already broken up with his girlfriend..

“I don’t know if Jun was just envious of how cheesy were getting to be, but he suddenly courted me. For a long time, I was convinced that Jun has a different sexual preference – let’s be blunt about it – he’s gay. But when he told me that he loved me, I believed him. Maybe I missed Elmer so much that I became so vulnerable to his words. Maybe I trusted him so much because he is my friend and would never joke about something so serious especially at that time when I am so confused. I accepted him.

“I wrote to Elmer about it. I forced myself to ask him about where our relationship is going because I want to give Jun and myself a chance. He politely told me that ours is a special relationship that will remain as that and nothing more. Only 2 more letters came after that. Until now, we have not communicated. Well, we (my husband (not Jun) and I) did visit him when he went home a few years after. We were very civil with each other, but other than that, no more communications. He does not even answer my emails.

Chapter 6:  My Bad

“My relationship with Jun did not last long (Ha-ha-ha… What can you expect?). Obviously it was a mistake for me to believe that he was not what I thought he was. Up to now I still can’t get over the fact that I trusted him. Up to now I still can’t get over the fact that Jun knowingly used me in my most vulnerable state just to prove something to the people around him.

“I don’t know if it would have been the same if I did not tell Elmer about Jun and me when I asked him about our relationship. But the more I thought about his past letters and that one where he said that we’re just friends, the more I thought that he just told that for the sake of his friendship with Jun. Would he have said the same thing if I did not tell him about Jun and me? I guess I will never know.

“It’s my fault. Maybe Elmer was really trying to drive our relationship to a higher level. I got impatient. (Well, what can you expect from somebody who never had a boyfriend before the age of 22?) I took matters in my own hand, instead of just going with the flow. Or maybe he just miss our happy days together? I really don’t know.

Chapter 7:  What If?

“After 13 years, that question, buried deeply under happy memoirs of my married life, suddenly re-surfaced. I guess, what Elmer and I had was so special that it can never be drowned by 11 happy years of married life. Although now, I consider it only a hypothetical question, sometimes it still makes me stop and think about what would have happened had I not asked him that question. Would I be in the US now with Elmer? Or would I still be married to my current husband? It would be nice to find out the answer and finally give an ending to that chapter of my life.

Always,

Julie